


I Knew You Were Trouble

by puppyfacedbrokenboys



Category: Red Band Society
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Anger, Fic Exchange, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Trust Issues, Vomiting, cancer and chemo (which is a given but just in case)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2860349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppyfacedbrokenboys/pseuds/puppyfacedbrokenboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The four times Jordi's attraction to Leo troubled him and one time it didn't.</p><p>Written for the Red Band Society Fic Exchange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Knew You Were Trouble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ishiphappy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishiphappy/gifts).



> This is pretty much canon divergent from the get-go... The way they met is the same, but the rest is pretty much twisted and pulled to fit as I needed it to haha.
> 
> Written for the Red Band Society Fic Exchange and my giftee is ishiphappy. I hope you enjoy this!

Attraction was a fluid thing to Jordi. It came and went in bursts, but he never really paid attention to it. 

That was until he met Leo Roth. 

* * *

**[1]**

When Jordi first met Leo, it wasn't love at first sight, or any of that fairytale bullshit. 

No. When Jordi first met Leo Roth, his new roommate, he found him to be an asshole. So, naturally, Jordi decided to dish it back at him. Leo had called him a loser to McAndrew and then tried to play it off as him taking out his own drama on Jordi; so Jordi just scoffed and sassed right back. Two could play that game. 

But it wasn't until Leo showed him his missing leg that things took a turn that Jordi never expected. 

From there, Jordi was interested. At first it was because this guy—this one-legged smart-mouth—was the first person that had connected with Jordi on some level that did not require blood. But then this guy—even though he did not like Jordi much, and Jordi returned the sentiment—was a way for Jordi to see he could fight his cancer. That he could make it out at the end. And even Jordi hadn't realized how important it was to see that until he met Leo. 

True, the guy wasn't the best confidant. “No, I can't be this person for you,” Leo had said in the elevator. But he was anyway, because he was there. He was  _real_ —and someone Jordi could latch on to. Someone that could show Jordi the ropes of this cancer thing, in even the smallest way. Someone that could tell Jordi the brutal truth, but then was able to spout off the most profound wisdom when they were alone. 

Leo's speech on the roof, welcoming Jordi into the fold as a Red Bander and giving Jordi his bracelet; their late night talks where Jordi felt as if Leo knew exactly what to say ease his mind; the deal Leo and he made that Leo would be the first one he saw when he woke up from his surgery - all the glimpses of the deeper, more sensitive side of Leo under that asshole front...

Jordi was falling for Leo and he was in trouble. 

* * *

**[2]**

Leo broke their deal of being the first person Jordi saw when he woke up from surgery. Jordi's heart sank to his toes when he saw the empty room, but he forced the disappointment down and focused all of his attention on all the information that Doctor McAndrew was throwing at him. 

He knew it was too good to be true, that Leo would be there, and disappointment was Jordi's default, anyway. He was used to it; used to being alone, and shouldn't have put so much hope into Leo. 

Except, just as Jordi was going to give up on it, there Leo was, shuffling through the doorway to perch on the chair next to his bed. Although late, he still came. He was there and hadn't fully left him, and that meant the world to Jordi; that he came back. 

After Leo's apologies (which Jordi knew without a doubt were heart-felt) and explanation that he had to work through his own shit, it was the promise that Leo would be there for Jordi from that point on that Jordi couldn't help but believe him. (And forgive him.) 

Leo was so charismatic and his smile was contagious, and he really sucked at Guitar Hero; sucked at thinking about other people's feelings sometimes, but he was a good guy underneath it all. That's all that mattered. 

The night after Jordi's surgery, the two stayed up all night playing video games and laughing. It was then that Jordi realized he had never felt so happy. He had gotten the worst news of his life that day, but looking up through the fringe of his hair to see Leo beside him—all grins and eyes bright, Jordi felt like maybe he was there for a reason. And he'd take it if he got to continue seeing the smiling face of Leo Roth. 

(He kept that thought to himself, lest it get him in trouble.) 

* * *

**[3]**

It was a Thursday when everything slammed into focus for Jordi. 

He had just gotten back to their room just as Leo was shuffling out of the bathroom. It was a normal thing, had happened a million times before. But that day was different. And the difference was that Leo was naked. Well, not  _naked_ , naked. Half-naked _. Shirtless_. And, still, that wasn't completely out of the ordinary; but that day, in particular, had Leo in just a low-slung towel as he struggled his crutch through the door and hobbled out, all while trying to keep the towel in place. 

Jordi was mesmerized. He could not see much, but the towel had managed to slide down just enough that Jordi could see the beginnings of Leo's V disappearing under the fabric, and the stray droplets of water as they raced down his smooth, pale skin... 

The sight made Jordi's mouth run dry and he must have made a strangled sound, because suddenly, Leo was looking him right in the eye and it took all of Jordi's will power not to blush. 

Jordi had just been oogling his roommate. Shit. 

“Moldi,” Leo began, using his nickname for Jordi, “hey, sorry, man. It's so small in there I can't maneuver around, y'know, crutch and all. Hope you weren't waiting long...” Leo rattled off and Jordi could not hear him anymore over the pulse in his ears. 

“Jordi, you okay?” Leo asked after a few moments of Jordi's silence, mildly concerned and confused as Jordi just stood there, frozen. 

 _Please, please, please, tell me that my mouth isn't hanging open_ , Jordi begged internally and flexed his jaw, which— _thankfully_ —was closed. “Y-yeah, sorry. Chemo-brain, y'know. Forgot what I was doing,” he joked, chuckling to himself and running a hand through his hair—but if it sounded weird to Leo, he didn't acknowledge it. 

“Sucks, man. But, yeah, bathroom's all yours.” Leo gestured to the bathroom with his infamous side-grin, where his lips curled slightly up on one side and gave Jordi butterflies. 

Jordi's saving grace was the curtain on Leo's side of the room being pulled so Leo could get dressed. 

Jordi didn't breathe until the bathroom door was shut behind him and his head fell forward to press against the cool glass of the mirror. He splashed water on his face and took deep breaths, calming himself. He almost managed until he looked down and saw it-- 

He had a hard-on for his roommate. 

Jordi was in deep trouble. 

* * *

**[4]**

Jordi managed to keep his arousal for Leo on lockdown after the towel incident. Mostly chemo was to thank for that. 

Jordi's second round of treatment hit him hard. He was found either sleeping, puking, or sleeping some more. 

Leo hovered more than usual, and for that Jordi was thankful. He hated being alone when he felt this shitty. Brittany, of course, would be more than happy to keep him company, but the sweet nurse wore Jordi out from trying to follow her conversations. So he stayed quiet and just hoped by telepathic power alone he could command Leo to stay near him on his bad days. 

The guy had been a saint during his treatments. Leo almost fussed over him like a mother hen, though Jordi would never, ever utter that thought out loud. And Jordi, in his more delirious states from the pain killers (and breaks between nausea), would let himself watch Leo when he wasn't looking, relaxing into his pillows as he strummed his guitar. 

Jordi found himself doing just that (minus strumming his guitar) as he woke up from his nap. He saw Leo sprawled out on his bed, head bopping to the song in his head as he read their book for school. Jordi was just about to smile to himself at the sight of Leo--so still and relaxed for once--when a wave of nausea crashed over him. 

He coughed hard, and fought to sit up. He struggled to reach for a pink hospital tub when one was suddenly thrust in his face; just in time to keep Jordi from puking all over his bed (which had happened two days before).  

Jordi's eyes flickered up when he felt a hand rest on his back, beginning slow, calming circles. 

 _Leo_. It was Leo. He was there and comforting him, and Jordi choked at the realization, but thankfully Leo couldn't hear it over him puking. 

And Leo stayed there, his hip pressed against Jordi's as he sat down next to him on the edge of the bed—one hand rubbing his back, the other holding the tub for Jordi. He was whispering things that Jordi couldn't hear, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Leo was there... even though Jordi wished he didn't have to see him like this. 

After a while, with Jordi still feeling like he could puke again, Jordi took a breath and leaned back—right into Leo's warm body. Jordi's brain had shut down long before then, so he didn't care. He rested his head against Leo and heard the low chuckle rumble in the other's throat. 

“Damn, Moldi,” Leo said, patting Jordi on the back twice and leaned away to rest the puke bucket on the table. He reached over for the baby wipes and handed them to Jordi, then squirted his own hands with hand sanitizer. “I think we've reached a whole new level of our relationship.” Leo grinned back at Jordi. 

Jordi gave him a tired grin back and slumped into Leo more. 

“Thank you,” Jordi whispered and almost thought Leo didn't hear it for how long it took Leo to reply with, “Told you I'd be here for you, I promise.” 

Jordi felt butterflies in his belly for a completely different reason than nausea. 

It was an unspoken agreement, but Leo stayed right there for the rest of the night in case Jordi needed him. 

It was troubling how easy Jordi drifted off, but quickly the darkness stole that thought away. 

* * *

**[+ 1]**

All good things must come to an end, though. 

The little sleeping situation was pretty much forgotten by the next morning and Jordi's round of treatment came to an end. He was starting to bounce back. And as Jordi started feeling better, Leo was gone again a lot. 

With Emma. 

It was a blow to Jordi, who had let himself become too attached to Leo in the past few days. And once again, he was being left behind. It was always the same. He really wasn't surprised. 

So Jordi found himself moping on the roof for most of the day, getting precious fresh air and feeling the wind on his face. (Which, truth be told, was a stupid move since his immune system was still severely low, but he took his chances.) He was used to being disappointed and alone, even living with his abuela left him alone more than he would like. And Jordi knew nothing would come from his crush on Leo, but it still hurt. It still hurt to just be dumped and left to his own devices because Leo, apparently, didn't think he needed him anymore. 

Jordi was completely over-reacting over this. Leo was his own person. He didn't owe Jordi anything, and he could hang out with whomever he wanted. But it still sucked. 

The wind started to pick up and Jordi found himself shaking. Time to go back in. 

He walks the long way back to the room, taking full advantage of being up to walk instead of just wanting to stay in bed. By the time he gets back to the room, he just wants to relax in his bed and try to get his homework done. 

His plans are side-railed as he walks into his and Leo's room to see Leo and Emma. 

Kissing. 

Jordi tries to stay calm, but all of his pent up energy and residual feelings for Leo and abandonment and disappointment swirl together and take hold of his senses. He grabs for his guitar as Leo and Emma look at him in confusion, wondering what his deal is, and in his haste he trips over Leo's discarded prosthetic leg and falls into the curtain, taking it down with him. 

“Dude, you okay?” Leo asks, and Emma has gotten off his lap to let him try to get up and help Jordi but Jordi flinches away and stands up. 

“Yeah, totally fine,” Jordi all but hisses, scrambling to his feet and rushing out of the room. 

He feels the anger build in his chest, and his cheeks flame from embarrassment. The pressure builds and builds until he's dropping his guitar and kicking the nurses' cart and the chair in the hallway in a fit of anger—lashing out as the pressure explodes in his chest. He just lets loose, then—rage over Leo, having cancer, being alone and always being alone, and there's a passing thought of just wanting his mom. 

A nurse first yells at him to stop destroying the cart, but then she's rushing towards him as he sways and falls, tears rolling down his face and hands gripping his hair. She hushes him, and he can barely make out her face through his blurry vision—no one he knows.

He ends up just going numb in her arms and they end up giving him a small sedative to calm him down. He faintly hears talk over his head to Nurse Jackson of getting him into the resident psychiatrist. 

Thankfully Leo is gone when Nurse Jackson gets him back to the room and he passes out as his head hits the bed; he doesn't have to face how much trouble he's in. 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Jordi wakes up it's dark out and when he swings his head towards Leo's bed, he sees him there. 

“Great,” Jordi grumbles, and he can feel all the rage surge back into his system all at once. He feels light headed and his body is aching from his freak out. 

“Oh, good; you're awake,” Leo says and he sets his book aside and Jordi really doesn't want to talk to him right now. “What the hell happened earlier?” 

That simple question breaks through Jordi's weak attempt of holding his emotions back. He knows he's pathetic for letting this get to him, but he's entitled to a breakdown. He has fucking cancer. 

“Oh, nothing. I'm glad to see that you just couldn't get out of here fast enough to go see Emma. I'm sorry I was so  _needy_. You don't have to take care of me, Leo. That was  _your_  promise. I'm not going to hold you to it, but please, for my sake, if you don't want to be here then just  _don't._ ” And Jordi knows all that wasn't what Leo was asking about, but God help him, he couldn't take this anymore. On top of it all, instead of just being able to close the curtain, he just had to crash into it and rip it down earlier, so they were stuck hashing this out. 

“What the fuck is your problem, Jordi? If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. But I promised you I'd be here for you and I intend to keep my promises whether you like it or not. And I can see Emma if I want to. You're not my fucking keeper.” Leo's tone rises to the point of almost shouting and Jordi matches it. 

“Why?  _Why_  are you so hell-bent on keeping your promise? You already broke the first one. I am fine. I do not need you to take care of me. And you being all nice to me... I can do it on my own. I'm used to it; I don't need anyone. So why don't you do us all a favor and just cut the shit before you break your promise again, Leo, because you're really good at it.” It's a low blow, Jordi knows, but it's too late to take it back now. Jordi's hurt and angry, and he just wants Leo to feel even the slightest bit of hurt that Jordi does. But, overall, this fight has blown up much bigger than Jordi ever wanted. 

“Why do you care so much?” Leo threw back, but then something clicked. “You're scared. And jealous.” 

A string of curses in Spanish tumbled from Jordi's mouth as he shook his head at Leo. “I ain't jealous, you idiot.  _Como el infierno que estoy asustado. Estás fuera de tu mente_  (Like hell I'm scared. You're out of your mind).” 

“I must've hit a nerve, huh. You're yelling angrily at me in Spanish,” Leo joked and Jordi ground his teeth in anger. “Dude, seriously, this is ridiculous. What the fuck is wrong? What did I do? I know Chemo fucking sucks and you feel like you're spiraling out of control, but this isn't that--I know it.” 

Jordi wishes Leo didn't have the ability to see right through him. “You wanna know what my problem is?  _You_. And the way you make me feel, all right? You're so fucking nice to me when you want to be, but then once I don't need you anymore it's like I'm chopped liver. Then you're kissing Emma and I just—"  

Jordi takes a sharp inhale of breath, eyes glued to the floor. He can't look at Leo. “I just can't be left again, okay. And I know my feelings are one-sided and it's fucked up for me to be mad at you because you're with her, but I just... I can't see it. I can't see you kissing her and being happy when I want to do that, and—you slept with me, Leo.  _You held me_  after I puked my brains out. You—you  _promised_  to be here for me when I needed you and right now, you're the only person—besides the nurses—that has come back and  _stayed_  when I needed you and I just—" 

Jordi's gaze snaps up and locks onto Leo's wide eyes, and Jordi doesn't even pause long enough to try to decipher the feelings flitting over Leo's face. “No, okay. Forget it. I can't do this. Because now that I told you how I feel it's going to get weird, and you're gonna pull away from me and I just—”

Jordi chokes on air, his lungs trying to expand and get air but they aren't working, and his chest hurts, and he's panicking even more, and— _of fucking course_ —Leo's right there, hands on his shoulders and trying to coach him to breathe. Jordi's trying to bat his hands away and he's shaking his head, trying to get away from Leo because this is exactly the problem. 

“Moldi, hey, just breathe, okay. Breathe for me,” Leo commands. As if by magic Jordi takes a shallow, sharp breath and then another, and soon his chest unclenches and he's breathing better--still quick, and the breaths burn in his chest, but better. There are tears in his eyes he hadn't noticed before and he wishes that the floor would swallow him whole. 

 _I'm so pathetic_. 

“You're right,” Jordi whispers, glaring at Leo under his fringe of hair. “I'm a jealous idiot. Jealous that Emma gets you and I don't. Jealous that you can keep her attention and I can't. And I'm fucking terrified that you're gonna leave me, just like everyone in my  _whole fucking life_  has. Which, if I do survive, you'll probably be long gone before then anyway and I need to learn that I'm just gonna need to do this on my own,” Jordi rambles, voice soft and he's on the verge of tears. How the hell did he get to be such a god damn mess? 

“Dude, Jordi, you got me okay. I promise, and I am definitely keeping this promise. I swear on my missing leg, okay?” That gets a small smile out of Jordi and Leo sits down next to him. “And dude, I don't even know if Emma and I are gonna last... I don't know anything. But I do know that I will be here for you, okay. You're like mold, remember, and so am I. I will be everywhere and you can't get rid of me.” Jordi laughed at that and somehow all the swirling darkness was leaking from him. “And, to be honest, I can't say I don't reciprocate those feelings you let slip. And let me figure out what I want to do, because Emma... I have to see that through, okay? And I hate to say wait for me, but...” he trailed off with a shrug. 

“As long as you come back, that's enough for me.” Jordi nudged him with his shoulder and Leo nodded. 

“Don't worry about that.” Leo patted him on the arm and then rose from the bed. “And dude, don't let this stuff bottle up inside, all right? It's not healthy and it just leads to explosions. And you're gonna get through this; I'm gonna be here every step of the way to make sure of that.” The look in Leo's eyes was so fierce, Jordi believed him, whole heart and soul. 

“I'm gonna hold you to it.” 

“All right, loverboy," Leo begins with a small chuckle; his infamous smile flashing at Jordi and the butterflies return, and Jordi lets them for now. "Get some sleep and don't dream about me,” Leo teases before falling onto his own bed in a fit of his own laughter. 

“You're a fucking asshole, you know that?” Jordi throws a pillow at him and then lays back on his bed, a weight lifted off of his chest. Leo knew and didn't freak out. And he still wanted to be around him, that was a plus. Of course, Jordi was mildly disappointed that Leo didn't flat out return his feelings, but that was stupid to even hope for. 

“Love you, too, bestie,” Leo chirps and Jordi sighs, rolling his eyes. 

“Go to sleep, I can hear you smiling from over here.” 

He could wait, and if nothing happened, then so what. He still had his trouble of a best friend, but he wouldn't change him for the world. 

* * *

It only took a month before Leo took the plunge and kissed Jordi while they were watching Netflix one night, and Jordi couldn't have been happier.


End file.
